• INTERNATIONAL - Orders placed before FEBRUARY 1st will arrive on time for you to get some lovin' from this card!

• DOMESTIC- Orders placed before FEBRUARY 8th will arrive on time for you to name your first kid after me (sometime in November)!!!

Offset Print
Size: A7 (5"x7")
Envelope : Red

Shops -inquire about wholesale pricing!

You can use the card for more than just traditional purposes. Propose marriage to a total stranger! Break up with someone! Steal someone's girlfriend! Quit your shitty day job! Or just let your landlord know you'll be a few days late with the rent. 
Soften the blow or sweeten the deal with this uniquely subtle and tasteful greeting card!!!

Sorry NO custom messages.



Current Stock:
See below for shipping deadlines
Shipping Cost:
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Fantastic! Wife loved it, Will buy again!!

N. Garrett on 16th Feb 2016

Priced just right, shipped fast, and is high quality. I bought one for my wife for Valentine's day, and got a big laugh! She was really impressed with the card. We usually buy each other funny cards and before receiving this card, she thought she bought the best one...then she opened it and realized that I had picked out the funniest card this time around lol. Will definitely buy again! Thanks Brian!!!

Badass card

16th Feb 2016

She absolutely loved it.

Touch their heart...

TC on 14th Feb 2016

by expressing, in the most elegant way, your desire to touch their butt. A unique and well-produced item that is an instant hit. Definitely worth the price.


cliff call on 14th Feb 2016

This dude knocked it outta the park with this card. Very pleased with it and so will the ol lady. Thanks again Brian!


Chuck on 29th Oct 2015

This card blew my girlfriends mind. It's the wickedest card I've ever seen and choosing the phrase makes it even better. I have never been so excited watching someone open a card... we both laughed hysterically! I can't recommend it enough.

Valentines Day Victory

Nick on 24th Mar 2015

This card hands down won Valentine's day for me. Over a month later she still has it proudly displayed in our living room.

Awesome look & wife loved it

Sean Anderson on 14th Feb 2015

Order was delivered in a very timely manner. Love the quality of the card! Ability to choose the phrase is theasy best!

Creative design, great card, well worth it:

bmerwinsuwc on 3rd Feb 2015

First, the design of this card is great. The illustration is crisp, and the photos here don't do the art justice. The card itself is sturdy and heavy, and the card itself is well constructed. Even the accompanying envelope is heavy stock that fits the card perfectly. I almost felt guilty writing an additional message inside the card itself. I was skeptical of a $10 card, but this was definitely well worth it. Even better, the recipient absolutely loved the message inside.